Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize