Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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