Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
