The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
