What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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