Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
