She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize