living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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