omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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