Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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