dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
