five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
