Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
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He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
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Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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