just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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