i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
