Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
