In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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