I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
