I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I lost the right to judge tonight
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
