Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
