$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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