No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
