White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
