She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
