check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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