I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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