Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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