Kiss
Puke
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
