you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
