I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
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