if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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