so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
