okay pat passed out under dana's car
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
