all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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