Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
