Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Four minutes until I can fart!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
