Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
