im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
