im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
