Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
