So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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