Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
