Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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