Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
