He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
