Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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