Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
