If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
