My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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