You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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