I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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