So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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