If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
