I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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