I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
