I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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