I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
