I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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