spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
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