She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
