at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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