jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
