She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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