Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
