Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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